"In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better."

"I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that."

"I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe you don't remember me!' I'm like, 'Oh Dad I'm sorry!'"

"I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. It must stand for: 'Ohhh my God, you're thin.'"

"Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off."

"Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm happy I could give him work."

"Nothing is more pleasing and engaging than the sense of having conferred benefits. Not even the gratification of receiving them."

"Dying is easy. Comedy is difficult."

"There are no accidents. God's just trying to remain anonymous."

"The right to do something does not mean that doing it is right."

"I cannot forecast to you the action of Russia. It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma: but perhaps there is a key. That key is Russian national interest."

"One thing you will probably remember well is anytime you forgive and forget."