"A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers."

"A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know."

"I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't want to meet them."

"Jury: a group of twelve men who, having lied to the judge about their hearing, health and business engagements, have failed to fool him."

"Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood."

"To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia."

"ORATORY, n. A conspiracy between speech and action to cheat the understanding. A tyranny tempered by stenography."

"Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, 'She doesn't have what it takes.' They will say, 'Women don't have what it takes.'"

"She just came in, pounced around this thing with me for a few years enjoyed herself, gave it a sort of beautiful quality and left. Excited a few men in the meantime."

"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."

"To live is to function. That is all there is in living."

"Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men."