"The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them."

"Even writers need relief from words."

"A man with his belly full of the classics is an enemy of the human race."

"Who would venture upon the journey of life, if compelled to begin it at the end?"

"The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there."

"Aliter catuli longe olent, aliter sues. ('Puppies and pigs have a very different smell.')"

"He doesn't have the greatest smarts in the world. His main interests in school were broads and booze."

"Guilt is anger directed at ourselves--at what we did or did not do."

"He that speaketh against his own reason speaks against his own conscience, and therefore it is certain that no man serves God with a good conscience who serves him against his reason."

"A pretty woman is a welcome guest."

"If America shows weakness and uncertainty, the world will drift toward tragedy. That will not happen on my watch."

"Screenwriters? Schmucks with Underwoods."