"You can't leave footprints in the sands of time by sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time?"

"A family is a family not because of gender but because of values, like commitment, trust and love."

"You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic."

"People ask me if I've ever been called a Nazi. I answer that no one has ever had dreams of being tied down and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal."

"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat."

"Everything in here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism, and is frowned upon in most societies."

"If it can be dreamed, it can be done."

"Things that we hear pass quicker from our minds than what we read."

"Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover."

"On Valentine's Day, millions of men give millions of women flowers, cards and candy as a heartfelt expression of the emotion that also motivates men to observe anniversaries and birthdays: fear."

"Things are neither good nor bad but thinking makes it so."

"Music lives in three tenses at once. Developing what comes before it in the past, it engages us in the present, and inspires our hopes for its future."