"Better be wise by the misfortunes of others than by your own."

"Appearances often are deceiving."

"In critical moments even the very powerful have need of the weakest."

"Be content with your lot; one cannot be first in everything."

"While I see many hoof marks going in, I see none coming out. It is easier to get into the enemy's toils than out again."

"Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties."

"There is nothing like a good dose of another woman to make a man appreciate his wife."

"Life is a dream from which we must wake before we can dream again."

"[W]e shall continue to have a worsening ecologic crisis until we reject the Christian axiom that nature has no reason for existence save to serve man."

"The Baptists' basic theology is that if you hold someone under water long enough, he'll come around to your way of thinking. It's a ritual known as 'Bobbing for Baptists.'"

"Man has made use of his intelligence, he invented stupidity."

"DUCK-BILL, n. Your account at your restaurant during the canvas-back season."