"The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."

"Sincerity is like traveling on a plain, beaten road, which commonly brings a man sooner to his journey's end than by-ways, in which men often lose themselves."

"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision."

"To be blind is bad, but worse is to have eyes and not see."

"Your mind, which is yourself, can be likened to a house. The first necessary move then, is to rid that house of all but furnishings essential to success."

"There is a growing suspicion that what the world needs now is a religion that will cover the other six days of the week."

"The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary."

"The philosophers have only interpreted the world, in various ways; the point is to change it."

"I detest converts almost as much as I do missionaries."

"Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough."

"People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy."

"People who know the least always argue the most."