"Pride, like laudanun and other poisonous medicines, is beneficial in small, though injurious in large quantities. No man who is not pleased with himself, even in a personal sense, can please others."

"'Home is where you wear your hat."

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila."

"[Advise] the ruler to govern the state as one cooks a small fish -- that is, don't turn it so often in the pan that it disintegrates."

"The best audience is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk."

"Another one of them new worlds. No beer, no women, no pool parlors - nothin'. Nothing to do but throw rocks at tin cans and we got to bring our own tin cans."

"People are, if anything, more touchy about being thought silly than they are about being thought unjust."

"Vanity is the quicksand of reason."

"To fear the foe, since fear oppresseth strength, gives in your weakness strength unto your foe."

"Entropy is the normal state of consciousness - a condition that is neither useful nor enjoyable."

"The only interesting answers are those which destroy the questions."

"It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees."