"IMPIETY, n. Your irreverence toward my deity."

"Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility."

"MYRMIDON, n. A follower of Achilles -- particularly when he didn't lead."

"ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice."

"INTENTION, n. The mind's sense of the prevalence of one set of influences over another set; an effect whose cause is the imminence, immediate or remote, of the performance of an involuntary act."

"PRICE, n. Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it."

"It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation."

"The action of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts."

"To make a man happy, fill his hands with work."

"There's no reason to bring religion into it. I think we ought to have as great a regard for religion as we can, so as to keep it out of as many things as possible."

"If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles."

"Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night."