"In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad idea."

"He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which."

"A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

"Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all."

"There is an art, or, rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

"She is the least benightedly unintelligent organic lifeform it has ever been my distinct lack of pleasure not to have been able to avoid meeting."

"To pity distress is but human; to relieve it is Godlike."

"How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese?"

"Death tugs at my ear and says: 'Live, I am coming.'"

"The happiest people seem to be those who have no particular reason for being happy except that they are so."

"Let us have a care not to disclose our hearts to those who shut up theirs against us."

"If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill always came together, who would escape hanging?"