"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."

"A pessimist is a man who has been compelled to live with an optimist."

"No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one."

"A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other... until death do them join."

"Editor: a person employed on a newspaper whose business it is to seperate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed."

"Life is just one damned thing after another."

"Always do what you are afraid to do."

"Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped."

"My kids can do whatever they want as long as they are not Republicans or junkies. That is where I draw the line."

"You guys over there, pair up into groups of three."

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not."

"Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm."