"For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have."

"Seventy percent of success in life is showing up."

"Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness."

"The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep."

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."

"I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak."

"If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing."

"Man cannot aspire if he looks down; if he rises, he must look up."

"The more wild and incredible your desire, the more willing and prompt God is in fulfilling it, if you will have it so."

"He is most cheated who cheats himself."

"I dote on his very absence."

"I'm not apt to be getting married in the near future and my lifestyle isn't apt to dramatically change as a result of any new relationship."