"On this planet, there are people with talents and people with flaws. The smart ones learn to use their talents, but the happy ones learn to accept their flaws."

"Deal with the consequences of your actions, 'cause life ain't no video game."

"A joke explained is a joke wasted."

"He's a complete and total psychopath. I don't mean that in the criminal sense, of course, but in a professional sense. People like that will do anything to hold on to their jobs."

"The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions."

"[Advise] the ruler to govern the state as one cooks a small fish -- that is, don't turn it so often in the pan that it disintegrates."

"There is no glory in otustripping donkeys."

"God give me strength to face a fact though it slay me."

"Life is a tale told by an idiot -- full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

"In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination."

"By learning to obey, you will know how to command."

"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen."