"Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"The wicked at heart probably know something."

"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?"

"What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?"

"More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly."

"Eternity is very long, especially towards the end."

"The lessons this life has planted in my heart pertain more to caring than crops, more to Golden Rule than gold, more to the proper choice than to the popular choice."

"Life isn't simple. But the beauty of it is, you can always start over. It'll get easier."

"Life is a sexually transmitted disease."

"Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about."

"Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious."

"Difficulties come when you don't pay attention to life's whisper. Life always whispers to you first, but if you ignore the whisper, sooner or later you'll get a scream."