"I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent."

"As an anti-American, I thank you for your rotten article devoted to my person."

"Progress always involves risk; you can't steal second base and keep your foot on first base."

"For I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and big words Bother me."

"I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority."

"I must say, to die with one's sword still sheathed is most regrettable."

"Man, unlike any other thing organic or inorganic in the universe, grows beyond his work, walks up the stairs of his concepts, emerges ahead of his accomplishments."

"Love thy neighbor, but pull not down thy hedge."

"When words leave off, music begins."

"As to diseases make a habit of two things - to help, or at least, to do no harm."

"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen."

"Reprove thy friend privately; commend him publicly."