"Don't spend $2 to dry clean a shirt. Instead, donate it to the Salvation Army. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. The next morning buy it back for seventy- five cents."

"Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to make it complex and wonderful."

"Offended vanity is the great separator in social life."

"History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it."

"True role models don't stand on a pedestal and tell you how to climb up; they jump down and help push you up."

"Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else."

"Whatever God's dream about man may be, it seems certain it cannot come true unless man cooperates."

"My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind."

"I've often thought the Bible should have a disclaimer in the front saying this is fiction."

"Angels dancing on the head of a pin dissolve into nothingness at the bedside of a dying child."

"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible."

"I am determined that my children shall be brought up in their father's religion, if they can find out what it is."