"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."

"When we don't know who to hate, we hate ourselves."

"The best way is not to fight it, just go. Don't be trying all the time to fix things. What you run from only stays with you longer. When you fight something, you only make it stronger."

"Don't do what you want. Do what you don't want. Do what you're trained not to want. Do the things that scare you the most."

"Hysteria is only possible with an audience."

"Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have left of our education."

"A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary."

"The art of mothering is to teach the art of living to children."

"Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before."

"The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one."

"A mother only does her children harm if she makes them the only concern of her life."

"This is part of the essence of motherhood, watching your kid grow into her own person and not being able to do anything about it. Otherwise children would be nothing more than pets."