"We don't bother much about dress and manners in England, because as a nation we don't dress well and we've no manners."

"If the lesser mind could measure the greater as a footrule can measure a pyramid, there would be finality in universal suffrage. As it is, the political problem remains unsolved."

"One man that has a mind and knows it can always beat ten men who haven't and don't."

"There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it."

"What God hath joined together no man shall put asunder: God will take care of that."

"Make money and the whole nation will conspire to call you a gentleman."

"All we know is still infinitely less than all that remains unknown."

"Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are."

"Mix a little foolishness with your prudence: It's good to be silly at the right moment."

"Well, the telling of jokes is an art of its own, and it always rises from some emotional threat. The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful."

"The problem with the cutting edge is that someone has to bleed."

"Be kind - Remember every one you meet is fighting a battle - everybody's lonesome."