"The only time some fellows are ever seen with their wives is after they've been indicted."

"Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you."

"Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature."

"The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket."

"One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before."

"When someone says, 'It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing', it's the money."

"Choose your pleasures for yourself, and do not let them be imposed upon you."

"HARMONISTS, n. A sect of Protestants, now extinct, who came from Europe in the beginning of the last century and were distinguished for the bitterness of their internal controversies and dissensions."

"A pessimist, confronted with two bad choices, chooses both."

"You cannot keep a man down without staying down with him."

"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature.... Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."

"Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him."