"I'm no different from anybody else with two arms, two legs and forty-two-hundred hits."

"Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature --- and another woman to help him forget them."

"The way to get on with a cat is to treat it as an equal--or even better, as the superior it knows itself to be."

"If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice."

"It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."

"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything."

"Society, my dear, is like salt water, good to swim in but hard to swallow."

"The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war."

"It is neither wealth nor splendor, but tranquility and occupation which give happiness."

"With just enough of learning to misquote."