"Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, use that something to support their own existence."

"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff."

"I think it is good that books still exist, but they make me sleepy."

"The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced."

"My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can."

"There is more stupidity then hydrogen in the universe and it has a longer shelf life."

"[Feminism is] a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."

"On his examination paper a boy wrote, 'A natural death is where you die by yourself without a doctor's help."

"Soldiers who are not afraid of guns, bombs, capture, torture or death say they are afraid of homosexuals. Clearly we should not be used as soldiers; we should be used as weapons."

"If a problem has no solution, it may not be a problem, but a fact- not to be solved, but to be coped with over time."

"We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years and justify our existence...on pain of liquidation."

"To the last, I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee."