"There is no such thing as luck. There is only adequate or inadequate preparation to cope with a statistical universe."

"To be matter of fact about the world is to blunder into fantasy -- and dull fantasy at that, as the real world is strange and wonderful."

"Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done and why. Then do it."

"Of course the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you--if you don't play, you can't win."

"That old saw about the early bird just proves that the worm should have stayed in bed."

"The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive."

"Discretion is the better part of valor."

"When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth."

"HYENA, n. A beast held in reverence by some oriental nations from its habit of frequenting at night the burial-places of the dead. But the medical student does that."

"Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?"

"How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she-roes!"

"Chicken Soup: An ancient miracle drug containing equal parts of aureomycin, cocaine, interferon, and TLC. The only ailment chicken soup can't cure is neurotic dependence on one's mother."