"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."

"We're all in this alone."

"Why is it when we talk to God we're praying -- but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?"

"Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them."

"I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain."

"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what seperates us from the animals. Except the weasels."

"ENCOMIAST, n. A special (but not particular) kind of liar."

"What we are doing at the moment is more that just one thing added to the rest; it is a memoir."

"People are usually more convinced by reasons they discovered themselves than by those found by others."

"In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from."

"Impiety, noun. Your irreverence toward my deity."