"The point of philosophy is to start with something so simple as not to seem worth stating, and to end with something so paradoxical that no one will believe it."

"Patriots always talk of dying for their country and never of killing for their country."

"Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact."

"There are two motives for reading a book: one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it."

"If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years."

"A sense of duty is useful in work, but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not be endured with patient resignation."

"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full."

"Think of life as a terminal illness, because, if you do, you will live it with joy and passion, as it ought to be lived."

"Darling: the popular form of address used in speaking to a person of the opposite sex whose name you cannot at the moment recall"

"Critics are like pigs at the pastry cart."

"Why does a small tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and s substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?"

"The key to living a moral life is this: Do nothing in private that you would be ashamed to discuss openly with your mother."